Fall is definately here. Leaves are changing faster than I recall from years past. Since this town is known for its trees, there are lots of opportunities to talk about why leaves change colors with Quinn. His favorite version is from one of his books: leaves are food factories for the tree that use the sun to make food; when there is less sun, the leaves come unglued. "Unglued" makes him hysterical.
It was a long summer and the cool air is nice. I kept thinking that brisk weather would encourage me to get out of bed in the morning and walk a few miles before the boys woke up; good thought, but the reality isn't quite so positive. Don't know if it is my age or how dark it is at 5:30 crack-o-dawn, but my success level is hovering in the single digits. Quinn loves going for walks in the jogger (chattering all the way), but eventually the coldness is going to nix that.
Halloween is upon us and it seems like that holiday ushers in all the others in quick succession. Thanksgiving, then my birthday, then Christmas, followed days later by Quinn's birthday. It is not a relaxing couple of months.
Since we are still waiting in limbo about when/where we are moving, it is difficult to plan anything or feel the energy to plan anything. In the years B.Q. (Before Quinn) we didn't worry too much about what we did for holidays - plans just happened, or didn't, and we did what we wanted. Now with a kid it seems imperative to have contact with family, to make a big deal out of some things, to start and maintain traditions. With my family of origin in a bit of an uproar (divorces, separations, other issues) it seems a more sane plan to stick close to home like we did last year. Concerned, though, that we will get into a pattern of it being just the three of us for all the holidays. Nothing seems very easy these days.
So, instead of fretting ( something I have a doctorate in) about it all, I'm trying to focus on how pretty the leaves are, how nice the chilly air is, how great it is to wear fluffy fleece and break out all my boots. And take Quinn of long walks in the crunching leaves.
4 comments:
I too possess a Ph.D. in fretting. About the same things as you too, sister. I don't know if this will give you any comfort or not, but when I divorced and the kids were small, we moved back to Newport and the weather was bad for flying, so we stayed at the coast. My family ties are quite loose for numerous reasons, so I really didn't feel obligated or motivated to try tighten the shoe strings and tie things up in a nice bow. I fretted and feared that the kids would suffer should we have the holiday alone. We made a big lasagna (we were veggie at the time) opened presents slow and long throughout the day, built a fire, watched christmas shows and walked on the beach, collecting rocks with our dog. We all maintain that it was our BEST christmas ever. This year, hubby is gone at christmas, the kids will be with me (it's my turn...next year it is their bio daddy's turn) and rather than visit relatives or have them at our home, you know what the kids chose to do? Yup. We are renting a cabin at the coast for the holiday. We have our own traditions that never are neglected, no matter where we are...the cider and candy canes, the story on christmas eve, etc. Our holidays are steeped in traditions that I know my children will pass down. They might not be idyllic, always including generations of relatives and big to dos, but the traditions are in place, no matter where we are, or whom we choose to share them with.
The best thing you can do is to follow your gut. The whole year provides opportunities to connect with extended family at more opportune times, allowing kids to know they have a network (no matter how twisted and tangled and loosely woven) beyond mommy and daddy. Holidays come with a whole host of anxieties and pressures...maybe a good tradition would be to do whatever feels healthiest and happiest at that moment...stressed out get-togethers stress everyone out...even the little ones who seem oblivious.
Okay, did I talk enough? Just seems we have several parallels, so I had to pipe in. Of course only you and E know what is best for your trio.
Sometimes we just sorta gotta change the legacy a bit. And that is okay too.
P.S.
He is SO handsome! That scrinchy face reminds me of someone...hmmmm...
I KNOW!!! That is what I keep telling E - and so do some of my friends. When Q is all furrowed up, he looks just like Daddy!
E doesn't see it.
: )
S
Well, maybe if E quit doing that squinty scrinchy face for a minute he would see it! :) Just kidding...but dang they are cute, huh? Guess all that cuteness helps you survive all the testosterone, huh? ;)
Post a Comment