Well...not so much. When the beautiful boy was wee, when he was still attached to me twenty times a day for "Bo bo" and seemed to need me body and soul every second, the thought of my best half galavanting in camoflage for a week was enough to make me sweat. And shake. And need to puke.
Last year at this time I said "Hey, bucko, if you're gonna be gone for six days, you're going to have to ask my mother (since it was his going away) to come stay with me. Alone I cannot be" (feeling a little dramatic at the time, a little Shakespearean). But now, with Quinn almost three and the last vestiges of sleep deprivation behind me, it barely blipped on the radar that Daddy was gonna be gone. I did think, okay, I'm going to have to do dishes with my little Martha Stewart after dinner, but nothing I couldn't handle.
So far (and we have another day to go) things have been surprisingly calm, easy and, dare I say it, fun. I think the little bugger is on to me and instead of stomping on my buttons, he decided to pull out his sweetest, brightest, most positive toddler-soon-to-be-preschooler moves. He actually seems to be listening and responding (okay, some of the time) and our usual battles have been muted. A new thing has been Giggle Fest, where he starts laughing about something and it is my job to keep it going. He giggles about something funny (something I said, some new made-up word he thinks could not be more hilarious) and by my laughing uproariously, he keeps it going. I think I may have pulled a muscle in my ribs the other day doing this. His giggle is contagious and a ridiculous amount of fun.
I have shamelessly come up with lots of fun stuff to do, even more than usual, hoping to keep this positivity flowing. Baking cakes for various birthdays and then delivering them, taking long, splash-filled baths, taking walks in the dark after dinner. Don't get me wrong - there were still those moments, like brushing teeth, when all I wanted was another adult to take over for a couple of minutes - but overall, it has been a fun week.
Perhaps it isn't that he has been on good behavior (and really, he's a mostly mellow only occasionally demonic child), but that I'm not wallowing in the anxiety that attended the first few stretches of time with Daddy out of town in his first couple of years on the planet. I know, not really an earth-shaking revelation, but it's working for me. I've been the "good mother" this week and it feels pretty dang, well, good.
Now, is it okay to make pancakes and sausage for dinner?
4 comments:
It's a trick I tell ya! That's what they do; reel you in with sweet child-like play, then WHAM! It's 3 hour fit, a migrain and an entire bottle of wine- GONE! Don't let him fool ya sister- he's a toddler and it's us against them. They'll take ya down if ya let 'em. Otherwise, very nice to hear that you are able to be all by yourself now. GOOD JOB man!
Love ya!
SH
Ya know, I think I was going somewhere else with this post, or misnamed it or something...maybe I'm not dealing with it as well as I thought I was! Nice to hear from you, Deep In Graduate School Chickie!
Good for you! Hubby leaves me for a few weeks each year. This year will be two months, egad! I used to melt down somewhere in the middle, especially when the third child arrived on the scene. Now I know that all I have to do is what I am able to do and the world will be okay with that. It won't fall apart.
It's so good that you surrender and just play...enjoy the one on one through these times! You are doing a great job, mama!
And thanks for the note at my blog...we are mostly itchy right now and groggy and grumpy from benadryl, with a few sore spots, mostly above the shoulders is where it hurts.
Sarah, in this photograph, you look Italian. Of course, everyone looks Italian to me right now. Even that very tall, black priest named Vedasto from Tanzania whom I just met. Yeah, you heard me---Tanzania. Know anything about his country? Hmmm? Raise an eyebrow, did I maybe? Hmmmm?
He is the friendliest person I've met so far.
xo, G
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